there was no one, there wont be anyone

and tonite this love turns to hate
i love someone but it really goes to waste
and it seems like no one tries to fix me
i know there'll be no one
so what the fuck am i doing here alive?



xoxo

losing my instinct

This is my first weekend without him
So far I am a mess
Totally
I spend every minute thinking of him
I spend every minute wondering why
Breaking up without you knowing the reason is just the worst idea ever

Part of me angry
Part of me so fucking sad
Part of me can't accept this
Part of me ashame

I think about some break-up movies and try to remember what the casts do being in this situation but i can't remember anything
I try to remember what I did in my previous big break-ups but it doesn't help at all
I try to remember the great times of being single, it doesn't work out
I just don't remember how I can survive until now

I keep thinking it's gonna be hard to still be playing with him once in a while
I can't stand people asking why
I can't stand the feeling of wanting to throw up everytime somebody mention his name and his agreements on certain play while I used to know them all
I hate the idea of looking fine while I'm not!

hzkhzk

geting rid for the bad apples

I do think that’ll always be the right thing to do, getting rid of the bad apples
I mean, u wouldn’t want to keep something bad, or bad for you, in your life, right?
But sometimes it’s just like having a good sin
Like an alcoholism
You know it’ll do no good for you, except for a better digestion I guess, but somehow you keep have it again and again
And even when you start to breathe heavily after a few glasses, you just keep it going on

Sometimes it’s not easy getting rid of those apples
In fact, whichever happened to me, weren’t easy at all
You have a hard time getting rid of them. Can you believe that?
You should really be grateful you’ll have only the good ones, but trust me, sometimes it’s just killing you and you might think of keeping those bad ones instead
Crazy, huh?

I just get rid of two bad apples in my life
Feels a bit like I have to say goodbye to some good beers
Suddenly, in just a little time, those apples kind of beg for me to let them go
They make noises saying “Get rid of me, I’m the bad one, look no further!”
And indeed, those bad apples will always come clean. Really, that had always been the thing that happened to me.
They don’t try to deny anything, they never wanted to
They just… being bad until the last time you ever deal with them
Like they regret they didn’t poison you at the first place
So the only option they have is making sure you get hurt real bad, with every option they have to hurt people

Then why is it so hard to say goodbye to them?
Well, maybe because you’ve been living with them all this time
Like keeping some beers in your refrigerator
Would you get rid of them when you feel like they’re harmless, and in fact, they help your digestion?
I wouldn’t
But when you’re facing the fact that you might get addicted anytime soon, your kidney’s suffering and your body begs you to stop having them, what will you do?
Sane people will just quit
It’s logical
That’s what I also do
So why am I feeling terribly lonely?

xxx

eleven minutes

Eleven Minutes

Currently Reading : Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho

Paulo writes so beautifully, in such simple words yet thought provoking,
paulo inspire me to appreciate life even more in ways i could never think of!
Khetsya dear if youre reading this blog, i seriously recommend u to read this...
and to everyone else whose afraid of falling in love

For I am the first and the last
I am the venerated and the despised
I am the prostitute and the saint
I am the wife and the virgin
I am the mother and the daughter
I am the arms of my mother
I am barren and my children are many
I am the married woman and the spinster
I am the woman who gives birth and she
who never procreated
I am the consolation for the pain of birth
I am the wife and the husband
And it was my man who created me
I am the mother of my father
I am the sister of my husband
And he is my rejected son
Always respect me
For I am the shameful and the magnificent one


xoxo gy

0707

That night at Pamulski was Magical

the right place, the right music, the right crowd, the right drinks

and the right people to spend time with

i felt like i was 17 again

kept on drinking like there was no tomorrow

as time went by, some people got a bit too emotional

there were the one who got very disappointed

the one who got angry as the result of being too worry

and the one who was taking advantage of 'em all

me myself was flying high 

so high, 

i hardly remember anything the next morning

all i remember there was someone whispered to my ear that night

"indeed, everybody loves you, Gyna...

...everybody loves you.."